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June, A month dedicated to Fathers and Men !

June is the month when we celebrate fathers day. But before we celebrate their fatherhood, it’s time to celebrate Men as Human Being too. So I thought of giving a tribute to all the men in my life – my dad, my brother, all guy friends (not every boy who is a friend is a boyfriend, yeah?), well also to my boyfriends 🙂 by trying to get into their shoes and see the world with their pair of eyes. 

Factoid : Well, I HAD to !!

Rather, I was challenged to look at the world from a different perspective, when one of my readers observed how most of my stories & write-ups are either about Motherhood or about kids.

Why There Is No Reference To WHAT GUYS THINK ABOUT PARENTING, LIFE, SPOUSE, CAREER, so on & so forth…….phew !!!

He did give me a long list. And, as much as I hate to accept but I agree he had a point !!

And so, I decided to change HATS !! Past few weeks, I have spent some time thinking and behaving like how my partner does, interacted with my close guy friends, took their viewpoint, kind of drilled them. I confess the transition of looking at the world through a guy’s eyes wasn’t an easy one. Every time, the feminist in me would come up with so many counter questions that instead of developing an insight it would give me a migraine😣😣.It was important to understand LIFE as they see it !!! This should be called- Evolution of Thoughts or Perspective !!So, to channelize my thoughts, I decided to play Mythbuster and took the top 5 myths that exist around guys!!Myth – (short form of MyThoughts) v/s Reality (from the horse’s mouth🙂)

Myth #1. Guys are TOUGH !! And so DESERVE NO MERCY !!

Reality – We are made different, BOTH anatomically and physiologically. As a result, there are psychological differences too. Naturally, each one of us has different priorities, we aim for different things in life but the ultimate objective is to seek for happiness, obviously thru different means and hence, the CONFLICT.

Morale of the story- Respect Individual Differences 😊😊

Myth #2. He has more windows, opportunities to rant/ vent and friends too. Obviously, he is less stressed out. And so DESERVES NO MERCY !!

Reality – While catching up over a fag, drinks or a game of pool or golf is much preferred over a day spent in shopping. Ease of expressions doesn’t come very handy here. Soda bubbles are required for those bottled up emotions. To confine, sharing your mind space is a must.

Morale of the story- MeTime is essential for all😎😎!!

Myth #3. Won’t understand my child as I do, after all, I was the one who carried my baby for 9 months, not him!!! And so when he makes a mistake while handling the baby, he DESERVES NO MERCY !!

Reality – There is always a first time, one needs to get involved to be able to take responsibilities. A lot depends on the parenting role models and our value systems that we have been given during the early years of life.Morale of the story – Don’t be a control freak, learn to relax 🤗🤗!!

Myth #4. Sex/ physical intimacy/ experience is all that matters to him, he is ZERO at emotions. And so DESERVES NO MERCY !!Reality- Well -well !!! Isn’t that one of the prime reason after LOVE, why we get into a relationship called- MARRIAGE? It can’t be put on a back seat. While it starts with physical attraction for both, over a period of time our priorities may change. Also, taking each other for granted is a commonly made DEADLY mistake.Morale of the story – Keep the flame burning 😉😉 !!Myth #5. His only responsibility is to bring money home, and if he fails in doing so DESERVES NO MERCY !!Reality – Even if the decision is mutual that you run the house and he manages finance, not every day is the same, even in the kitchen or with kids. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes.Morale of the story – Forgive & Forget🙂🙂 !!As a matter of fact, how our guys behave depends on how we as a society have conditioned them, their behaviour patterns. So if we want to see the change, in the way our men treat us, we all will have to make an effort, parents, families, schools, offices and the community collectively.Of late, the talks have begun on how to raise boys so that they are able to cope up with much more liberated, independent and empowered women ever, in the times to come. It’s a tough task !!While we got busy with “बेटी बचाओ, बेटी पढ़ाओ ” ( save the girl child!!) unintentionally we have ignored our boys. They have been growing in the wild as wild berries/ flowers/ weeds subject to the amount of care they got from their significant others. The increase in crime rates is a clear reflection that our guys need special attention & care.Moving forward to the approach, I suggest we need to make use of both corrective and preventive measures. But most importantly we need to instil the concept of Self-Care amongst our men. Let’s break those stereotypes, drop those toxic mindsets !!While each one of us, irrespective of what gender, experience emotional turmoils at every phase in our lives, all of us need that emotional support from our significant others. The substance abuse be it alcohol or drugs, physical abuse such as molestation, domestic violence & rape and even suicides are results of these suppressed emotions.Today, let’s take one step closer towards a friend, a son, a brother, father or a lover, let’s take time to tell them that they matter to us, their opinion & voice matter to us, we value every sacrifice that they make for us. Now & always, you will be loved!

Three Cheers To The Men, We Love !!
#men, #loveyourguy, #selfcare


Author: Shivali

A Counselor, A Research Scholar & A Fitness Enthusiast, Exploring herself on an Inward Journey !!

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