June, A month dedicated to Fathers and Men !

June is the month when we celebrate fathers day. But before we celebrate their fatherhood, it’s time to celebrate Men as Human Being too. So I thought of giving a tribute to all the men in my life – my dad, my brother, all guy friends (not every boy who is a friend is a boyfriend, yeah?), well also to my boyfriends 🙂 by trying to get into their shoes and see the world with their pair of eyes. 

Factoid : Well, I HAD to !!

Rather, I was challenged to look at the world from a different perspective, when one of my readers observed how most of my stories & write-ups are either about Motherhood or about kids.

Why There Is No Reference To WHAT GUYS THINK ABOUT PARENTING, LIFE, SPOUSE, CAREER, so on & so forth…….phew !!!

He did give me a long list. And, as much as I hate to accept but I agree he had a point !!

And so, I decided to change HATS !! Past few weeks, I have spent some time thinking and behaving like how my partner does, interacted with my close guy friends, took their viewpoint, kind of drilled them. I confess the transition of looking at the world through a guy’s eyes wasn’t an easy one. Every time, the feminist in me would come up with so many counter questions that instead of developing an insight it would give me a migraine😣😣.It was important to understand LIFE as they see it !!! This should be called- Evolution of Thoughts or Perspective !!So, to channelize my thoughts, I decided to play Mythbuster and took the top 5 myths that exist around guys!!Myth – (short form of MyThoughts) v/s Reality (from the horse’s mouth🙂)

Myth #1. Guys are TOUGH !! And so DESERVE NO MERCY !!

Reality – We are made different, BOTH anatomically and physiologically. As a result, there are psychological differences too. Naturally, each one of us has different priorities, we aim for different things in life but the ultimate objective is to seek for happiness, obviously thru different means and hence, the CONFLICT.

Morale of the story- Respect Individual Differences 😊😊

Myth #2. He has more windows, opportunities to rant/ vent and friends too. Obviously, he is less stressed out. And so DESERVES NO MERCY !!

Reality – While catching up over a fag, drinks or a game of pool or golf is much preferred over a day spent in shopping. Ease of expressions doesn’t come very handy here. Soda bubbles are required for those bottled up emotions. To confine, sharing your mind space is a must.

Morale of the story- MeTime is essential for all😎😎!!

Myth #3. Won’t understand my child as I do, after all, I was the one who carried my baby for 9 months, not him!!! And so when he makes a mistake while handling the baby, he DESERVES NO MERCY !!

Reality – There is always a first time, one needs to get involved to be able to take responsibilities. A lot depends on the parenting role models and our value systems that we have been given during the early years of life.Morale of the story – Don’t be a control freak, learn to relax 🤗🤗!!


Myth #4. Sex/ physical intimacy/ experience is all that matters to him, he is ZERO at emotions. And so DESERVES NO MERCY !!Reality- Well -well !!! Isn’t that one of the prime reason after LOVE, why we get into a relationship called- MARRIAGE? It can’t be put on a back seat. While it starts with physical attraction for both, over a period of time our priorities may change. Also, taking each other for granted is a commonly made DEADLY mistake.Morale of the story – Keep the flame burning 😉😉 !!Myth #5. His only responsibility is to bring money home, and if he fails in doing so DESERVES NO MERCY !!Reality – Even if the decision is mutual that you run the house and he manages finance, not every day is the same, even in the kitchen or with kids. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes.Morale of the story – Forgive & Forget🙂🙂 !!As a matter of fact, how our guys behave depends on how we as a society have conditioned them, their behaviour patterns. So if we want to see the change, in the way our men treat us, we all will have to make an effort, parents, families, schools, offices and the community collectively.Of late, the talks have begun on how to raise boys so that they are able to cope up with much more liberated, independent and empowered women ever, in the times to come. It’s a tough task !!While we got busy with “बेटी बचाओ, बेटी पढ़ाओ ” ( save the girl child!!) unintentionally we have ignored our boys. They have been growing in the wild as wild berries/ flowers/ weeds subject to the amount of care they got from their significant others. The increase in crime rates is a clear reflection that our guys need special attention & care.Moving forward to the approach, I suggest we need to make use of both corrective and preventive measures. But most importantly we need to instil the concept of Self-Care amongst our men. Let’s break those stereotypes, drop those toxic mindsets !!While each one of us, irrespective of what gender, experience emotional turmoils at every phase in our lives, all of us need that emotional support from our significant others. The substance abuse be it alcohol or drugs, physical abuse such as molestation, domestic violence & rape and even suicides are results of these suppressed emotions.Today, let’s take one step closer towards a friend, a son, a brother, father or a lover, let’s take time to tell them that they matter to us, their opinion & voice matter to us, we value every sacrifice that they make for us. Now & always, you will be loved!

Three Cheers To The Men, We Love !!

https://youtu.be/cpA0J62LMB0https://youtu.be/DIQjqdbJ4Vohttps://www.desimartini.com/news/htcity/entertainment/marjaavaan-sound-technician-nimish-pilankar-dies-at-29-colleagues-discuss-how-techs-work-overtime-rarely-get-paid-article126230.htm
#men, #loveyourguy, #selfcare

Summer Nights, Stargazing & Radio: Nostalgia Guaranteed!

The other night, I had taken my kids to the terrace for “Stargazing Activity” as a part of their Vacation Assignment Schedule. While they were busy spotting the constellations, I closed my eyes. Deja vu !! 

Nostalgia hit me, really hard. My mind took me back to my childhood memory lane, I could see my life in flashes! The memory is still so vivid that it began to tantalize all my senses.

A random hot summer day, turning cooler, as the Sun went off duty. Followed by a soothing breeze, gently caressing the ruffled minds and hair. The air was filled with night jasmine’s fragrance. It used to be so quiet that one could hear the train’s horn as it passes by the nearest railway tracks, loudspeakers being played in the mosque close by and the street dogs barking, intermittently. 

After dinner, we would make our “makeshift beds” on the terrace. This used to be my favourite part of the day. Everybody was assigned a task. And like a well-coordinated team at the assembly line, we used to execute the task flawlessly, every single time.

My mother would bring a clay pot (with a “lion face” on its spout), was covered with a damp muslin cloth, (mostly my mother’s old cotton saree) to keep the water naturally cold, with a glass to cover it’s top.

My elder siblings would help my father to carry and arrange the mattresses, bedsheets and pillows and I, being the youngest was assigned with the most important job. 

To carry my Dad’s Radio!!

Every night (Mon-Sat) sharp at 8:00 pm, Vividh Bharati would play a 15 minutes radio program pertaining short stories, anecdotes, snippets, skits, plays or Natak, Jhalaki, vyang in Hindi, called “हवा महल“/ HawaMahal. This was the earliest and the most pleasant memory that I have from my childhood days.

“Look!!  A shooting star! And there you can actually spot Orion!”, squealed my daughter and pulled my hand and eventually also my mind back in that day and time. Time machines aren’t for real, says who? 😊

Upon reflection, I believe that listening to those stories at such an early age, laid the foundation of myself becoming a writer. Visualizing the characters, identifying with their emotions, being able to associate with the changing emotions with the change of music and the texture of voice to understand the feelings made my imagination vivid and intense. Unconsciously, I was practising mindfulness, being there…living in that moment.

I won’t hesitate to give this experience full credit of evolving a storyteller in me, that I am today. 

PS: The love for the instrument is such that I still possess one, even today.

2020:What An Year It Was!!

Thursday, March 25th 2021

11:00pm

Dear Diary,

Today, the morning started with FB reminding me of the 3 week long #LockDown announced and followed by the crazy “Saree/ Couple/MomMoments Challenges” we did last year, under the ” This Day, Last Year” feature. 

Sheer nostalgia!😄

But come to think of it, one year has gone by already! Phew! And what an eventful year it was! 

It gives me goosebumps even to think about, how the pandemic had sneaked in our lives, globally. It just didn’t differentiate amongst us. It didn’t spare anyone. No gender biases, no skin colour or race discrimination. As if it mocked at us all!

As the most evolved beings on the planet, we were all locked down in our own territories, as though we were now The Endangered Species Kept In The Zoo. And all other creatures, the birds, swans, ducks, peacocks, butterflies, tigers and raindeers were once again free to move around anywhere, without inhibitions or fear. And we, the humans? 

We were s**tscared to even step out of our homes.

There were plenty of speculations and conspiracy theories around Corona Virus’s origin and spread in certain geographies. But it was one war-like situation that brought all of the humanity against one invisible enemy- COVID-19!

While the volume of spread brought the biggest health threat to humanity, its timing brought promotions without assessments for the students and an overnight upsurge of online apps. 

Yes, those were difficult days for all of us, but it brought us all together like a big family ( वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम). We lit lamps and prayed together, prayed for each other, prayed for Mother Earth to rejuvenate once again. As a family, we came closer. Learnt to respect that the boring, mundane domestic tasks required a great deal of compassion and care. We managed without any external domestic help and yet survived! ☺️☺️  And how incredible was it that we played the same board & card games with our kids that we have grown up playing? 

And that quality of life and happiness are not dependent on the amount of money but the amount of care & compassion for each other. Binge watching was the new normal. And “Families that do chores together, stay together” became the new mantra.

Yes, those were difficult times but we faced them with great courage and discipline, as a community and as a family. It brought us all, together once again. 

The most important lesson that it taught us all, was not to be complacent. None of us is, indispensable. 

None of us will be able to forget last year. The year we were all very excited about 20:20, it surely became a very significant year in the history of mankind and now as part of my daily journal, too.

PS: Thank God For Small Mercies. क्या होता हमारा जो Internet को भी कोई virus लग गया होता? (The hell would have broken loose on us if the internet services were down too)😁😁

#momspresso, #sadguru, #narendramodi, #yourquotes, #internet, #WordPress, #CoronaDiaries, #Covid19,

The Clock Struck 5!!

Showing Gratitude To The Universe!!

I closed my eyes and it felt as though I was sitting on the Dashashwamedh Ghaat of Ganga, in Varanasi.

The chanting of mantras, the bells, the fragrance of sandalwood, the soul evoking sound of “Shankhnaad” (Conch shell). For me it was one of the most powerful spiritual experiences in recent years.

It had the surround sound kind of effect. For a moment I thought it was coming from within too. The vibrations were so powerful that tears started to roll down my eyes, the tears of ecstasy!

In that one moment, I re-established the connect with the Ultimate Soul!

India collectively, cones together to create positive vibes to clean the environment, and to show their appreciation for the CareGivers, on 03/22/2020@5pm.

Proud to be an Indian!!

I Never Wanted To Be Equal, Just Wanted To Be Me !!

You are not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth and raging courage.” – Alex Elle

A True Story:

What you are going to read is not a usual abusive marriage tale. What makes it unusual, are the decisions that I took and stood by. 

Those who know me would know why I did, what I did. And for those who are reading it now, I will be able to understand your anger towards my decisions, the choices that I made.

But today when I share it here, with you it is not to seek sympathy or play the victim card but because today I feel, I can talk about all those atrocities without dropping a tear. 

Today, I feel strong !!

Born & brought up in the heart of the country, I was raised by two very forward-looking parents. Unlike typical middle-class parents of two daughters, they never cribbed about not having a boy, instead, they raised us to be strong-minded, good human beings. 

Now that I am a parent, I can totally vouch for the values they instilled in me, consciously or unconsciously, have helped me all through my struggle.

So, it all began when we were rushed into a marriage in a great hustle-bustle by my In-laws, which we mistook that like the genuine eagerness to accept the new relations. It didn’t take long before the bubble busted!! 

“Where was the Dowry that the new bride was supposed to bring along? Both parents have been working all their lives, why haven’t they been showered with all those luxuries? For whom are they going to save all that money? We have to give dowry in our daughter’s wedding too, who will provide us with that money now? We have been cheated!!! Now you slog yourself, bring the money to support my daughter’s marriage and their demands, until you pay back what your father should have done” !!

Followed by a dozen of slangs, abusive language that most of you would not even have heard, I was given as my muh-dikhai (The first look at the new bride). 

Though we live in the 21st Century, some of us are still carrying that medieval mindset, where the daughter-in-law was supposed to bring trucks of dowry that will keep the household running for the next 7 generations. My husband, though is a well-educated and successful professional, isn’t an emotionally strong person. So, when he didn’t react or respond to any of my MIL’s verbal diarrhoea, it shook me completely. 

My dreams of a happy marriage had begun to shatter !!


My mother-in-law is an extremely bitter person. Don’t get me wrong, she is very sweet to her daughter and son. He is, what you would call – A Mumma’s boy, refusing to behave like a logical, mature adult. Totally in her clutches and unbelievably comfortable about it! 

The first Lohri, Diwali, Holi or any festive occasion, I used to dread & pray to God, that my MIL’s mood should remain good. I would hope that she should not insult my family but trust me no opportunity was wasted; nobody was spared!! 

Thankfully, I was working and office became my breathing chamber. I used to dread the weekends. The environment in the house was very stressful, abusive, foul language, sarcastic remarks on me, my parents, my sister who is a single parent.

I started getting into depression. At work, I was a very aggressive, target-oriented and focused person and I used to wonder, why I go so docile and timid when at home!

As time passed, I gathered the courage to ask my husband about MIL and her anger, almost hatred, bitterness, sometimes malice in behaviour and came the reply “My mother has somehow managed to survive an extremely abusive marriage. She was made to go through so much in her life, because of my father not supporting her. Her anger, frustration is only very natural and now you have also disappointed her by not meeting her expectations”, Phew !! I was frozen. 

Does that justify her ill-treating me? And if you are thinking I was alone, nope!! I had company. 

To my great surprise, my father-in-law wasn’t in her good books too. He wasn’t given any respect at home. Nobody, my husband, my SIL or MIL had any affection for him. For a person who, all his life has worked at a very respectable position, had to see such bad days.

For me, I decided to make things work, tried really hard to come up to their expectations. I did what all of us would do, once you are in an arranged marriage and joint family setup. Unfortunately, my MIL, just couldn’t stop comparing with what she had to do for her daughter and what my parents or myself, were doing for her. There were times, I would wonder, how badly was she treated by the in-laws that she has becomes so bitter towards her own husband and now with me. I felt sorry for her, but nothing that I ever did, was sufficient.

And as if, all these pressures weren’t enough and Life wanted to do stress testing further, the hell broke loose. I was detected with an extremely higher level of TSH- thyroid !! Reasons could be the stressful environment I was living in, but it acted like adding fuel to fire. When my MIL came to know that I wouldn’t be able to conceive till the TSH level come in the normal range, she was furious.

There seemed to be no end to my misery. My MIL didn’t waste a moment in tagging me a BANJH (infertile). My parents were targeted once again for none of their faults. They were accused of cheating and not disclosing about my ill-health at the time of marriage. Who was going to bear the cost of the treatment was a bigger concern than my health? My husband, who was supportive of me until his mother brainwashed him. In my whole life, I have never seen such a drastic change in someone’s attitude and behaviour. What strong influence or should I say GRIP my MIL had on her son !!

There were times when I tried to discuss or confront and things would go completely out of hand. I would be verbally, physically abused by my husband & MIL. There was a lot of tension that I was subjected to at home. It was becoming unbearable. It had started affecting my performance at work. But I had decided, come what may I wouldn’t leave my job.

The rift between my MIL and me had only gone deeper with her becoming more and more bitter and I was on the verge of breaking down. There were several incidents of verbal, mental and physical abuse, however, I did not allow my parents to be dragged into. I was constantly trying to make my marriage work, on my own.

You must be wondering, why? What was I trying to prove and to whom? At what cost? If financially independent, well educated, mentally strong women living in a cosmopolitan city like me would succumb to such pressures, what do we expect from those who are not so privileged? I agree. But, trust me, you will get answers to all your questions.
While I had no control over my MIL, I still hadn’t given up on my husband. He is a classic case of an Alpha Male, easily tamed by his mum. This one almost worships her. The same level of possessiveness he would demonstrate for me, the typical toxic masculinity. During those rough times, there were a few moments rather, patches of raw emotions, aroused hormones and some pleasantness between me and my husband. And in one such rare moments of passion, we conceived. I was pregnant !! More than the joy of being pregnant, I think I was relieved to be “No More a baanjh” !! 

After 17 hours of labour, major cramps, acute pains, finally had a normal delivery. My daughter was in my arms, my joy knew no bound !!

If I had thought the tougher, stressful days were over, I couldn’t have been more wrong !! The era of sleepless nights had just begun. And as the days passed by, I realized that my daughter was my responsibility, alone. My MIL, SIL or even my husband, were neither available nor interested to spend time with her. 

Postpartum depression, fatigued mind and body, soar nipples, frequent hunger pangs as you are a lactating mother, I went through all this, alone. My husband & MIL simply refused to understand what I was going through. Was it because she was a girl child? I used to wonder.

My maternity leaves were soon to be over. I had to continue with my job for more than one reasons but couldn’t leave my 5-month-old daughter unattended. I managed to convince my husband & MIL to keep a live-in maid, after all, I was the only source of fetching the recurring Dahej. And I joined my office, again.

Things were going downhill for my FIL, especially after retirement. He was frequently abused by both my husband and my MIL. My FIL’s was under immense mental shock, it triggered the onset of Alzheimer’s. 

I bet; you treat your maids & domestic helps much better than how he was being treated. I had developed a soft corner for him, as he too was ill-treated, like me. 

My MIL seemed to have started a non-cooperation movement with almost everything and being associated with me. The maid was not given basic amenities, she was asked to do all other household chores instead of looking after the baby. There were times when I had come back from the office to find my daughter howling, squealing. For hours, she had been in a soiled diaper causing painful nappy rashes. Despite having a 24*7 maid, every day I used to end up cooking, using one hand, as my daughter would refuse to go to anyone else.

I have lived those times when I used to get nightmares about the maid running away with my daughter, only with the thought of taking revenge from my MIL for the torture she was subjected to. It was a terrible phase and found myself all alone in this battle. If it were not for my daughter, I wouldn’t have but finally, I sought help from my parents. They were very happy to play with their new granddaughter. 
And just when, I thought there was some peace in my life, things took a very shocking turn. 

Upon reflection, I can say it was a major turning point in my life. My MIL had been boiling from within, as I had started visiting my parents frequently. In the middle of the night, she came charging in my room. I suddenly woke up with a cry. I was hit, hard!! 

It took me a few seconds to understand what had just happened. Oblivious to my feelings, she went on her violent spree of accusing my parents, who had recently moved in their new house. It was built jointly with my paternal uncle and my parents after their retirement. She was screaming at the pitch of her voice, abusing my parents for not giving enough dowry, hiding a huge amount of wealth with them. She crossed the limit, when she said that I had been in a relationship with my FIL, otherwise why did I feel so concerned for him. 

Hearing those loud noises, my daughter woke up and started crying fanatically. While calming down the 18-month-old in my arms, I was trying to put some sense of my MIL and just then I got one tight slap on my face. How dare, did I answer back to his mother? 

This wasn’t the first !! It had happened several times before also. When it happened the first time, it must have been an involuntary reaction as I gave it back to him. Immediately my parents were called IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, to take me back home with them. I couldn’t see my parents being insulted, humiliated and abused in front of my eyes. And so, asked them to leave. They didn’t agree with my decision and insisted not to take any pressures. I knew they would happily have me home again but I had decided otherwise. 

What was I thinking? Why did I go through all that bullshit? What was stopping me from not leaving that abusive relationship and return back home, where I WAS SAFE AND LOVED?

My mind went numb. My elder sister was already living with my parents after her divorce. A single parent. My parents have always been extremely supportive but I knew deep down they would have wanted her to be settled in her life. I freaked out. I didn’t want to be in that situation both for myself and for my parents!! Crazy as it may sound, but I had then decided to stay put and find a way to save my marriage.
But that eventful night, I wasn’t the same old person anymore, not a weak, timid, docile wife, desperate to make her marriage work. 

I think motherhood gave me the courage to fight back. I got hold of my phone, I called women helpline and asked for Police support. It was 1:30 at night. Strangely, police also did not arrive, but my call was more than enough to shake them and give a message that I won’t bear it anymore.

Hours later, I tried to escape out of the house with just bare essentials and my 1.5-year-old daughter. But My husband found us and tried to stop. I literally screamed at the top of my voice such that the neighbourhood could hear me shouting. I threatened him, not to touch me or my daughter. My body was shivering in rage and fear the same time, but I had finally found myself!! 

It was 4:00 am and I left that house with my cousin, never to return again. 

For a month or so, I stayed with my parents and searched for a house, job & my soul. Eventually found a new job, was able to focus on my career and life again. My daughter had started smiling more often, and I guess, me too. It was the beginning of the next phase for us, a way for the negativity, the torture and the stress.

The thing about life is that just when you think, you have found your way to live it, it throws you another challenge. I got a call from my husband that he wants me and our daughter to come back to the house. 

Not Again, Never Again, was my reaction!! I had barely started to breathe. I just couldn’t have gone back to that abusive, unsafe and toxic environment. And hence, I communicated as sternly as possible. Something would have told him that I will not take the S**t any more, from him or from his mother.  

We sat and discussed almost the entire night. And when I told my decision to my parents, I still remember their expressions. I could sense that they were really scared for my life and well-being. All this time, my parents have never tried to pressurise me or influence my decisions. They just stood by me, which in itself was my biggest support. I had taken my decision. 

The following week, my daughter, me & my husband, we moved to a rented accommodation closer to my new office. We started to live together under one roof, again. Managing mood swings of my husband was one hell of a task but was able to do that. While life had slowly started to move at my pace, I often used to think about the plight of my FIL. With very little food and care, he couldn’t survive for long and eventually passed away. Much ahead of his time. I would say, death eased away from his pain & misery. I confess I felt relieved for him. I wasn’t even allowed to attend his funeral or the prayer meeting. A very gentle person, he was. May his soul rest in eternal peace.
That brought us back to square one, my MIL couldn’t be left there alone and by now my husband knew that come what may, I wouldn’t go back to live with her. So, it was decided that he will move back to live there and I continued to live with my daughter. We used to meet, occasionally. Life started to move and I was thankful for that. My daughter was growing steadily in a safe & congenial environment, she was now ready to be put in a playschool. 

And if you thought, this was over… “Picture Abhi baaki hai, dost !!”
My husband got the opportunity to work overseas. Once again I was put in a spot !! I was suggested by my family and close friends, to go along with him. Maybe it would have been the ideal thing for us. A new country, new people, a fresh start!!

But by now, I had become a strong support for my sister and my parents as they were for both of us. We used to love watching our little girls play & fight together same as us when we were kids. Kind of re-living our childhood in them, you know. It was THE eco-system for us, all of us. And I wouldn’t break it for anyone, not even for myself! It wasn’t easy. I had to make the equation work and I did !!
Today, I live with my MIL, in a house that my husband bought in a gated community which I thought was safer to live for my daughter and me, as compared to the independent house that we were living earlier. He visits us every couple of months for a week or so. Are things any better between us? Well, he definitely has realised the strength of my character, when I told him that I will look after his mother in his absence despite everything. Yes, he says multiple times in a day that he loves me and I think, I like to believe him when he says that. 
My MIL and I are poles apart, in every aspect. And the biggest difference is in our thought processes, I guess. It wasn’t easy to be able to choose to live with her, again. I believe this had a lot to do with the kind of upbringing I got from my parents, “We are no one to pardon anyone, let karma play its role. Don’t be vindictive. Stay human and lose your values”. 
I was on my journey of tolerance, patience and not losing my inner peace. I was determined to not allow anyone to disturb this newfound harmony ever again. All my attention would be for my daughter alone, such that I can instil similar values in her. If possible, a much stronger version of me.
The journey has just begun and I hope, I live it fully. 
As I mentioned earlier, my idea of writing this was not to gain any sympathy from anyone, or defaming my in-laws or mocking at those who gave up because it was too painful to have gone through it.

The idea was to share my evolution, my learning. So here are my two cents: 

1. Take charge of your life! Till the time I kept going back to my parents and did not or could not gather enough courage within myself to realise that it was my battle. I had to fight it out to achieve what I had wanted, desired or wished; it didn’t happen. 

2. Be in control of yourself! It is quite easy and natural for anyone to initially lose control when exposed to such devastating moments, however, do not stoop down to the level the other person has because that is not the real you. I am most certainly not with Gandhi when he says- If someone hits you offer the other cheek too !! Maybe I should have said ENOUGH the very first time it happened to me.

3. Be clear in your thought, take an informed decision and then don’t back off. When I decided that we all will stay under one roof, I knew what I was heading for. While I had this clarity that I will never be able to forgive anyone, but I certainly ensured that I do send across the correct message to them. 

4. Get over with “Why Me?” syndrome. I have lived through the days when I have cooked food for the whole family, despite a 24*7 cook being there with my baby in one hand and cutting chopping and making chapatti with one hand and still not being treated fair. Don’t play the victim card. It does more damage to your self-respect than to anyone else. 

There was a time I was so determined to take control of things, I just got over with everything and thought to myself, I cannot give up… and yes, it did work for me big time !! I started seeing my husband change and he started understanding my perspective in pieces. I was thankful for the times he wasn’t behaving like a mamma’s boy. 

5. Make yourself financially viable – Come what may, under any circumstance don’t leave your job. I could fight it out, give it back to them only because I have a bank balance that will sustain me. 

Today, I am thankful to God Almighty for the strength He gave me as my family. The pride that my parents have today in their eyes, the respect that they see for me, in my husband’s eyes, the guilt that I see in my MIL & my husband’s eyes makes me a strong woman every day. But what makes me really happy is to see my daughter grow and bloom as a happy child !! 

Every day, I thank God for always being there for me. Today I am living life, as per my own terms & conditions.

Writer’s Note:  By sharing this story, we are not supporting domestic violence or showing malice towards anyone. The thought is to encourage self empowerment, even in adverse conditions.

Are You An Equal Opportunity Employer?

Gone are the days, when being an Equal Opportunity Employer was considered as a USP. Or having a Sexual Harassment Cell was a sign of being a proactive employer. Or that conducting a Gender Sensitization Workshop would add a feather in your HR department’s hat. 

It just can not be limited to a considerable male-female ratio, or a great mix of multilingual, multi-ethnic groups as part of your workforce. 

When we say that an organization is an I would like to question exactly how much equal opportunity employer are they?

Is equality only for males and females? 

Do you think there is another segment in this society that also needs to be spoken for? 

Does HR fraternity, actually think about making policies keeping the LGBTQ community in mind? 

Is your organisation ready to accept the LGBTQ Community as their coworkers? 

Is your gender sensitization workshops, also cover sensitizing about the LGBTQ Community?

#EachForEqual, for me it is about providing equal opportunities to all genders, not just binary gender but also transgenders equally. It is about being all-inclusive. So for me, I don’t want to fight for the rights of women. I would rather Fight For The Rights Of Being A Human. 

Women are natural when it comes to empathy and therefore the onus once again rests on out shoulders to make the society more accepting for all.

As a mother, I am working consciously to ensure that my progeny is accepting all individual differences and is able to take everyone together. 

A Vote of Thanx : For the past few days, half of the world is busy scratching their brain cells and rubbing their fingers on their laptops, smartphones around #EachForEqual. Thanx to the #6BlogsIn6Days Challenge!!