MyTwoCentsSeries #7 #BroCode for Mental Well Being!!

In 2008, when Barney Stinson, popularised the term  “Bro-Code” through a character from the television show “How I Met Your Mother” It was referred to as a friendship etiquettes mostly practised amongst men or, more specifically, among members of the Bro subculture. But the “Bro Code” have been there since the beginning of mankind.

From the earliest times when the stone age, homo sapiens decided to stay together in groups, we formed cults who believed in same ideologies. These “Bro Codes” were not essentially the guidelines that were to be followed by the mass but specifically chosen ones, in most cases these were the alpha males.

Whether it were the Conservative Civilizations or the Pirates, to Gangsters, to leaders of Political Ideologies, to music bands, bikers gangs, there has been the existence of these “Bro Codes” from the beginning of the times. Tattoos, inking, secret marks of identifications are classic examples to understand these cult ideologies.

Today it’s not restrained to be used only by men but has become the most “Chilled-Out way to refer to a Code of Conduct” for any cult or a group which is very tightly knit and emotionally connected.

These “Bro Codes” become more influential than the rules that we make for our kids as parents. While affiliation is good but at times, the peer pressurizes one to pick up the unhealthy attitudes & habits. Habits that are perceived to be cool but have devastating impact resulting into substance abuse, conduct disorders, delinquency, anxiety, depression leading to suicidal behaviour.

But, why do we give in to these pressures? Because as a child, we all have been trained, conditioned to be accepted by all, adhere to the so-called norms, to fit in the bell curve. And when we don’t comply with these norms, either out of choice or due to circumstances, we feel out casted. Therefore to “fit-in”, to be accepted by all, we begin to deceive or hide from others and gradually disconnect from ourselves. Any disagreement or deviation from the norms, be it in academics, professional excellence, personal relationship or about one’s own sexuality, any of these can pose a threat to our lives.

And when someone decides to give up on life, it’s not just a reflection on one person, or a family but it shows upon the entire community. Whether it’s the students who succum to the pressures created by the parents & the institutions or the Businessman who associated his self-worth with the Profit & Loss related accounting sheets of his company. If there was a close support from these “Bro Codes”  I feel they could have handled their life situations better.

So, I want to evoke the positive aspect of these “Bro Codes” to support each other. The ancient Indian thought of Vasudhev Kutumbakam ( the world is my family) stands as relevant as ever, when we consider ourselves a “Global Citizen” we need to take the collective responsibility for each other.

My BRO CODE – 1. If my BRO is in distress, I will HUG-IT-OUT. 2. Even if we are not pals but if some “BUDDY” needs help, I won’t shy away. 3. I will keep away from “ABUSE” of all kinds, coz that’s my “BRO CODE“!!

Let there be more & more clans, groups that we become part of, let there be more stronger “Bro Codes”, let everyone feel responsible for everyone else. Let the whole community be standing tall, supporting & never giving up on Life!!

James M Kauffman Merrill/Prentice Hall, One Lake Street, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458., 1997 “Characteristics of emotional and behavioral disorders of children and youth”                        

#brocode, #Life, #SubstanceAbuse, #norms, #life, #vasudhevkutumbakam, #habits, #bikers, #musicbands #Indian-philosophy, #how-i-met-your-mother, #mentalwellbeing, #barneystinson, #buddy, #tattoo, #inking,#fitbod, #needforaffiliation, #love

Snippet #4 #The-Naughty-Karma!!

Like most “Book Loving Families” all around the world in my family also, every evening we either read a book or tell a story before putting the girls to sleep, kind of #book-reading-session or a #story-telling session.

That evening it was my turn, and a conscious parent that I am, I thought of teaching them something really significant, something that will guide them like a #lighthouse, something that they should remember when they grow up, something that would have a more considerable impact on them, kind of #thumbrules!!

So I picked the TEEN Edition of “Secrets of Karma by Vee Jay Attri”, a book which explains the Indian school of thoughts & Philosophy in the most simpler way such that our next generation can read by themselves and can relate to the bigger concepts.

While I was reading the book, my elder one looked a bit perplexed. Thinking that she didn’t understand what I was reading, I tried again to explain the concept of good & bad karmas (deed). And how good actions done today will reward you tomorrow. “Good actions will fetch you good & bad actions, bad. It’s as simple as that!”, I said. Her expressions didn’t change!!

So I asked her which part she didn’t follow. And her reply totally stumped me!!

“You see, there can’t be just two kinds of KARMA”, she said. ” There have to be three kind of Karma”, she declared. “Why, 3?”, I asked.

“See, first is Good Karma that we do most of the times. Second is Bad Karma for which you make us face the consequences (🙈🙊)and then there has to be a third karma, the naughty karma. The one’s that Sara (my, then 3 years old) keeps doing all the time!!”

That reply left me thinking not just for minutes but for years! Could there be a neutral karma? Can there be some shades of Greys too?

Now after 3 years of the incidence, this has become her favourite book. Her love for reading books & her collection has now grown from 20 to almost a 500 & still growing…

#goodkarma, #badkarma, #bedtimestories #thumbrules, #lighthouse #books, #firtheloveofreadinggoodbooks, #secretsof karma, #indianphilosophy

MyTwoCentsSeries #6 The 7 years Itch !!

Is it a writer’s block or my mental block that I am not able to pick something up & run?

It’s been quite some time that the idea of doing something professionally, has been brewing…bubbling…& churning inside me but it has not led me anywhere yet, or so to say till about a little while ago.

Am I scared to take a plunge after 7 years of becoming a full time Mum & a Home Maker? Or is it that I am doubting my capabilities to take up a challenge or is it the fear of failure that has stopped me?

The decision of quitting my job wasn’t much of my choice. One fine day (come to think of it that treacherous, hideous day…the memories are still so vivid) when my so called support system collapsed, the baby sitter decided to elope, leaving my 30 month old toddler in my arms. As if this was not enough, my baby’s health took a nasty turn…acute bronchitis & wheezing.. (thanks to the supremely high levels of pollution in NCR)..I had to QUIT !!!

Some of the working Mums had their mothers or mother-in-laws (MIL 🙂) to extend their presence & to keep an eye on the Nanny…but the thought never occurred to me. My parents did a decent job of raising me & now it’s my turn to do the same for my girl…so I resigned.

And then I was sitting with my baby looking at me with eyes wide open having an even bigger question in them- “where do we start?”

Of course I knew my 3 years old !! Like any other caring Mum, I would know how many bottles of water & NAN, the portions of fruits, daal- chawal, diapers she would need on a regular day, I knew it all. But what I didn’t know was, what does she do in her awake hours? What story books she likes more than the others? Most importantly how does she take her afternoon nap? I was utterly clueless !!

For those who are going to curse me for being such an ass, let me defend myself by saying that I had a 6 days work week… Of course I used to spend time with my family on Sunday but that was after a long list of errands to run on that one day. Socializing, fun outings even salon ( those days there were no House Joys/ Urban Claps/ YLGs ) was nowhere on the there was no time to regret also.

In between feeding her, changing diapers, singing lullaby I had often compared my life with my contemporaries, my friends who have climbed higher, reached much much ahead of me in the corporate ladder but the sound of my darling telling me about her day @ school would bring me back to reality…this was my new reality…

Today, a dotting Mum of two, when I look back at those years filled with millions of memories I am certain that I don’t want to disturb this beautiful harmony @ home but still this damn thought of what am I doing with my life, keeps lifting it’s head like “Mahishasur” every now and then. What’s going to be my big finish? What’s the ultimate design for me?

This hatching seems to be taking forever…

MyTwoCentsSeries #9 Good Touch, Bad Touch, But why Touch?

Why, Touch?

Because touch is one amongst the five senses using which we establish a connection with our ecosystem. Therefore, it becomes essential to understand the nature of this special feature/ attribute embarked upon us.

A hug is as much a tactile experience as groping is, but the receiver would have an extremely different response for both.

This difference is evoked by both the intent of touch & the perception of touch. The knack of being able to differentiate between a good touch and a bad touch hones sharper with a better understanding of self-concept, which in most cases develops chronologically.

And the ability to read these tactical experiences & to categorise them continues to develop as gutfeel or sixth sense, that gives us the superpower to read & interpret these messages exceptionally well, then why, how & when does our intelligence fail in reading these queues?

The child molestation, child abuse incidences that we read or experienced have mostly happened in situations where these tactical queues had gotten corrupted or bugged when offered by someone who was part of your safe circle,significant others whose touch was earlier perceived and accepted as a positive stroke. The signals got mixed up when the strokes changed their nature, when the so-called #safecircle wasn’t safe anymore. That sent mixed messages to the mind, which so far was conditioned to read these messages as an affectionate gesture, now alerts the brain for an alarming situation, sadly so, in some cases a life-threatening situation.

When your child is exposed to a variety of windows at school, after school classes, parallel schools, hobby classes, peer @ school, peer@ residential complexes, domestic help@home, @ daycare, on the internet so on and so forth. As the list gets longer, the risk that they are exposed to also increases. It’s the same situation for grown ups too, the outburst that came as #metoo campaigns has people covered world wide respective of their caste, colour, language, professions or bank balances too.

While adults are supposed or to say are expected to look after their well being, children are still our responsibilities. We need to coach our kids to read the situation correctly & keep themselves SAFE !

We have all the resources needed to handle this situation. Kids are naturally observant, they are experts in understanding non-verbal communication. They read the body language much better than most adults would do because they are “your smart audience”. Remember, when one of the child at home is at the receiving end, the rest of them will smartly improvise their behaviour before its their turn (Those who have more than one child/ sibling would relate with this😄).

Most schools take workshops on GOOD TOUCH, BAD TOUCH, “THE SWIMSUIT RULE” . The Counsellors, teachers all are making a conscious effort to educate them, and alert the system as & when they come across any deviation or physical violence/ abuse. So nutshell, the child may have a fair idea of what’s right & what’s not. As a parent or as a community helper, our role is minimal but crucial. We need to establish that bond with the child where they share their hearts to us with zero inhibition. We need to just place these pieces of jigsaw puzzle right, such that all the pieces put together make a beautiful pattern.

To explain the concept of personal space circle of safety, I usually seek inspiration from #mothernature. Somebody as tiny as an ant bites when perceives danger, a small puppy or even a kitten will growl, Mimosa “the touch me not” plant will shrink it’s leaves when touched. All these living beings se their instinct and learnings from previous experiences using whatever limited intelligence they have, to defend & protect themselves. Fight-or-flight is what we do instictively and because we have sharper intelligence and better physical strength we can choose to give variety of responses to a problem.

Without over-explaining & instilling unwanted fear, we need to teach our kids that they are the authority who decides who they allow entering in their personal space

#Self-Image helping to build a positive self-image #self-concept.
#Awareness to the environment, #safecircle #Self-reliance-I-am-responsible-for-my-wellbeing, #Self-defense.
#Alternative-solution- encouraging the kids to explore ways in which a problem can be solved.
#PositiveParenting- Stay clam, connected with your child, breathe and relax.

When we, as a community take up the role of keeping our kids safe, the circumference of the safe circle goes bigger & the impact on the child, much stronger.

Have a safe environment for our children, HAPPY PARENTING!!

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Snippet #3 Who needs chlorophyll, anyways?

It was the “Happy Study Hour” in our Family when I sat with my girls to help them with their Homework. While the 4th grader was doing research about Photosynthesis, the 1st grader was experimenting with primary and secondary colours.

“Why are the Leaves green in colour?” I asked my elder one. Before she could reply my younger one looked at me cynically, “why, you don’t know that Maa!! Sunlight is yellow in colour and Water is blue. So yellow plus blue makes the leaves turn green!!”

Who needs Chlorophyll, anyways!!!

#happy-study-hour, #Chlorophyll, #sun, #sunlight, #water, #photosynthesis, #homework

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#TheFoodieMeSeries #1 #Superfood, #Cassava aka #Tapioka #rujutadiwekar #Vegan

When down with viral and you don’t find anything tantalising your taste buds, this #Superfood comes to your rescue.


#Cassava cooked in #peanutoil topped with a spoon of #desighee, loaded with #peanuts, #greenchillis, grated #Coconut, #curryleaves & #corianderleaves sets the tone & your body right for a morning meal.

If it worries you about the starch & carbs contents of #Cassava, then consider this.

Celebrity Nutritionist Rujuta Diwekar Talks About The Many Health Benefits Of Kasawa (Sabudana)
Rujuta Diwekar reveals just how healthy kasawa (sabudana) is! She also debunks some of the myths that surround this superfood.

Rujuta Diwekar reveals just how healthy kasawa (sabudana) is! She also debunks some of the myths that surround this superfood.

So why is #Cassava such a highly recommended #Superfood?

Loaded with energy of simple carbohydrates & easily soluble fat, it’s get diested easily without being harsh on the digestive system.

The abundance of Calcium, Iron and Vitamin K in makes it the food to keep you energetic during your #HighIintensityTraining and keeps you Fatigue-Free.

Rich source of calcium, magnesium & potassium, which supports in improvng the bone strength & helps in regulating the blood pressure.High on protein, #Cassava is a must-have #Superfood for those who wish to develop or re-gain the muscle strength.

Go ahead & try out this scrumptious delight. !!

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#TheFoodieMeSeries #2 #SuperFood #Vegan #VegetableStew #Millet #Glutenfree #loveforfood

For those who are freaking themselves out on some #weightlosschallenge or a #diet, here us a must-try from The house of “The Foodie Me”!!!

#VegetableStew – Low in Saturated Fat & Cholesterol, Vegetable Stew is a good source of Protein, Vitamin A, Phosphorus, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Vitamin B12, Magnesium, Copper. The list goes on & on…

CC: Bhagya Akka #VegetableStew

The only word of caution here is that it’s high on sodium, but you can lower that risk by adding himaliyan pink rocksalt. Its the purest form of salt found on Earth and has innumerable benefits such as it boosts metabolism, improves immunity, lowers blood pressure so on and so forth.

CC: Bhagya Akka, The taste multiplies manifolds when consumed with #Millet & #Coconut #Superfood.

Millet is tiny seeds like grain, mostly harvested in Asian & African Continents, is an excellent source of the minerals phosphorus, magnesium well as B vitamins such as thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, and B6. Besides its protein and vitamin content, millet is a hypoallergenic (low-allergy), gluten-free grain.

This combination a very satiating & Super healthy too. So enjoy your food, guilt & gluten-free. Bon Appetite!!!

#vegan, #weightloss, #millet, #gluten-free-grain, #superhealthy, #himalayanpinkrocksalt, #coconut, #coconutmilk

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