Cut, Copy & Paste !! The New Mantra to Mental Well-Being!!

“Don’t you copy me!! Why can’t you think of something on your own? Why must you always do what I do?” Her complaint was genuine but so was the response she got from her younger sibling. “Because you are my hero!! And I want to be like you”, she announced and made an exit, stomping her feet as loud as possible.

As usual, I played the role of a naïve audience, only this once I pretended to be an audience who is watching a Chinese film, which has no subtitles.😂😂

“She is such a copy cat!!”, the elder one looked at me, seeking for some support and then plugged her earphones again to enjoy Christina Perri’s magic with her vocal cords.

While both the parties, as in the two parties in a conflicting situation got busy with their routine, as always they gave me food for thought.

‘Copy for Coping!’ Such an empowering thought, isn’t it?

The counter-question could be that where is the value for a genuine work or a thought? 🤔🤔

True that but wouldn’t you agree to the fact that we don’t have to re-invent the wheel in order to prove your genuineness or genius, we would rather use that amount of energy and effort to bring about the innovative use of that wheel and be benefitted. (All copyright and patent-related matters don’t fall under this category, and should be treated as per the law of the land. 😅😅)

Now, you must be wondering what made me propagate ‘Copying’ as empowering thought! and how in the context of Mental Well-Being?

Allow me to take you on a mental tour for a few minutes…Go back in your earliest memories when you stood in front of the mirror and mimicked your parent. Or Wanted to learn to play the guitar and sing “My heart is beating” like the character in the film, Julie. Or when you answered the question sitting for an interview as who is your role model and why?  Or generally, who would you follow to be as successful as your role model in any field of life, be it at home or in office.

The thumb rule applied here was, if someone could do, anyone can do, isn’t it so?

What was the skill that you were using? Consciously or unconsciously, we were making use of this very effective technique called learning and adapting by copying the displayed desired behaviour, which becomes part of our coping mechanism eventually.

Yes, but how would it work on mental well-being?  the next obvious counter-question.

When we face a challenging situation or an event which makes us anxious, gives us frights, turns our minds numb and faces pale that’s the time this formula of ‘Cut-Copy-Paste’ works wonders. All you need to do is to take these three baby steps:

  1. Revoke a memory from past when you felt absolutely in-charge of the situation.
  2. Add colours to that picture of yours, make it appear real. Live that moment as if it was happening right now for you.
  3. Now, copy that state of mind, of being capable of handling a similar situation in past, to the current moment, and paste it here.

Moral of the story: If you have done it in past, you can always repeat that magic, again in future if you truly believe in yourself.

Give it a try and let me know if it works for you.

PS: Never succumb to pressure and give up on life. Pressures are important lessons in life to grow, enjoy the journey while we are still in it.
Warm hugs.

Just Press That ‘Delete’ Button!!

When life revolves around gadgets and technology, unconsciously technical jargons sneak into our day-to-day conversation. And before we realise they become an integral part of how we speculate, decipher and communicate.

And if a late boomer as myself feels like that we can only wonder how the Gen-alpha would make a conversation.

So the other day, sipping my favourite coffee, lazing in the backyard, watching the cats and my girls play, I was appreciating the lovely weather, when the argument began…”How could you not support me?  I am your sister!!”, she argued with her elder sibling.”Of course, I was supporting you by not supporting you. You have to learn to do it on your own, I won’t be around every time to protect you. That’s what Maa says, isn’t that right, Maa?”, the elder one asked for a confirmation for her action and I smiled back at her “absolutely!!””No, but you could have helped me…it made me feel sad and hurt!”, she tried one more time to seek emotional support from her ‘Big-Sister’.”

C’mon now, just press that delete button and move on!”, came the reply and to my surprise, it worked!!!It was sheer enlightenment for me!!!Now, I know what you might be thinking…kids world and their problems aren’t that complicated as the grown-ups. But the fact of the matter is that it is possible to have a switch, a button to control your emotions and it is your WILL-POWER!!

So when you want to erase that haunting past, those bad memories or even those non-productive thoughts, try this ‘delete’ button technique. How does it work?

Take these simple steps:

Visualise that unwanted memory on the screen of your device, like a screenshot.

Add colours & your emotions to it, make it look and feel REAL!!

Experience it one last time and whenever you are ready “Just Press That ‘Delete’ Button!! Bid It A Goodbye!!

PS: Please feel free to share your views, thoughts and opinions. Truly appreciate your time spent reading this post.Have a wonderful, ever

‘One Stitch In Time’ v/s ‘Use & Throw’ Generations

Was listening to a debate on an international channel, about how the last 50 years have been the most destructive years in the history of the evolution of Earth, where 70%of the life (plants, animals and insects) have become extinct. That was shocking!!!

Made me think what have we done to our planet, the only home to life, in the universe? Where did we go wrong in the last 5 decades?

Last 5 decades would mean our parents and us!!
Of course, a lot has changed. From landline to smartphones, from huge chambers of memory storage devices to USB Sticks, from LPG to Air fryer, from being a ‘One Stitch In Time’ to a ‘Use & Throw’ Generation, a lot has changed. And the moment I realised this huge change in our approaches, I could understand where we went wrong.

I belong to a generation of instant noodles and instant gratification. So, for me replacing broken stuff, is a much-preferred response rather than getting it repaired, unlike my parents who always believed in ‘One Stitch In Time Saves Nine’! And that was applied almost everywhere, be it objects, appliances, clothes, shoes or even relationships. They always believed in mending things, making things work, unlike our generation. So instead of getting a routine servicing done round the year, I rather believe in replacing a not so expensive appliance as a matter of convenience.

My counter-argument to this is, “comparative analysis and value add if it makes more sense in getting things replaced, I don’t want to carry on just because I am emotionally attached with my old junk!!” As a result, single-use plastic, obsolete discarded IT Products and devices, clothes have resulted in piles and piles of a garbage dump yards both on land and in our oceans.

Past few months have been instrumental in restoring the glory of Mother Earth, and that gives us another chance, might be the last chance to correct our mistakes and create a sustainable lifestyle which is an all-inclusive one.

Let’s all work together to help the planet thrive again. Let’s leave a home worth living, for our generations to come!!

But My Skin Needs A Scrub First !!

I feel happiest in my skin, when …. phew 😅😅

It left me thinking not just for hours but for days. Finally, after days of drilling, I pulled up the courage to pen my thoughts.

Happiness or being comfortable means different things to different people, isn’t it so? To me, it starts with accepting my skin, like literally!! It’s texture, the colour, the roughness the freckles, the blemishes, the dark circles, the stretch marks so on & so forth.

But what  does feeling happy in the skin actually mean?

Well, well!!  I had questions….

  1. Does it mean identifying myself who I think I am or what others think of me?
  2. Does it also mean to be able to accept my flaws/ drawbacks/ weaknesses as well? Things that I actually didn’t love about myself.
  3. Does it also mean, not just making peace with it but also to be appreciative of oneself?

Trust me, if asking these questions you thought was difficult, being able to absorb my own responses was equally nerve-wracking!

At the physical level, we all know that skin has several layers. My soul-searching made me discover some of those mental and emotional layers as well. And like an inquisitive mind, I felt the need to uncover each one of it. I took off !!  To find Me.

While searching my soul, I realised that like my unattended skin, my soul also required scrubbing. Scrubbing off, of all those unproductive thoughts, negative emotions and unwanted memories which were not doing me any good rather were damaging my self-image.

They were there since forever, with their sole purpose of making me feel low with their weight. No wonder, we feel heavy when experiencing a negative emotion, I reckon.  Does gravity work on emotions and feelings as well 🤔🤔?

Nonetheless, I decided to drag and drop them in the trash can of my brain’s supercomputer. Bidding farewell ain’t easy, I agree. It took a lot of effort but I managed it successfully 🙂. I didn’t mind seeking help from people around me and why should I? After all, you should depend on your family and friends, they make you who you are! And not just them, if need be I may come to you as well someday, remember ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ hence everyone is accountable! Won’t you agree?

So I hugged myself and decided to move on. That was my first step towards accepting myself as I am and taking charge of what I want to keep and what I want to  Let-Go! 

This was the most empowering thought I could ever give to myself,  “accepting my self the way that I am and letting go of that unimportant stuff ( which could be emotions, feelings, in some cases people as well 🙂🙂, it’s ok !!)

And when I write this, it is not just for myself that I say but also for all those women out there who have learnt to find their way out in this world on their own and those who don’t seek for approval from others for how they should be!

So for me, that is feeling the happiest in your skin…it doesn’t stop at acceptance, or self-love and care. I rather celebrate it each day, being myself, the way that I am!

Writer’s Note: Three Cheers To All Those BadAss Mums Out There!! Keep Shining!!

#selfimage#selflove#selfacceptance #draganddropnegativethoughts
#happiness#loveyourself, #Amwriting, #mentalhealth, #happiness, #mentalwellbeing, #thinkpositive #powerofpositivethinking #emotionalintellgence #loveisskindeep

The Mental Well-Being Series #2 That 10 Headed Demon!

In this part of the world, we grew up listening to the mythological story of  Ravana, the demon who had 10 heads. And if you are a late bloomer, you would have grown up watching those epics on your television screens. Awestruck!! we were, weren’t we?

The archaeologists have confirmed that the legend of Rama-Seeta -Hanumaan &  Ravana did actually exist. Thousands and thousands of years later, today, why I am mentioning it here, is because I believe that 10 headed demon still exists!!

Yes, it does!! The demon is “Negativity” Also known by his 10 heads as below.

1. Unclear Self-Image/ worth

2. Self-Doubt

3. Low Self-Esteem

4. Fear

5. Tension

6. Guilt

7. Panic Attacks

8. Anger Issues

9. Substance Abuse

10. Stress Disorders

These heads keep popping out for each one of us, at some point in our lives. And the majority of the times, our intellect, our cognitive powers and capabilities are able to manage them. When they say, “Time is the best healer” it may apply to the majority of the situations. We do “hit & trial” and try to find our way out of stressful, in some cases unfortunate life-altering incidents.

But the flag needs to be raised when we find someone, taking unusually longer time to recover. As part of his/her circle of influence, that’s THE time we need to pitch-in.

Not all behavioural disorders require psychiatric interventions, like not all physical ailments, need surgery. And when we need surgery, what do we do? We prepare ourselves for it, as early and positively as possible.

Why mental wellbeing or mental health-related issues not treated with the same amount of ease as physical ailments? (Would appreciate your comments).

Presenting here a situation, which could have been resolved with active participation and teaming up with a psychiatric intervention but ended up otherwise.

The Misplaced Emotions

He was very attached to his mother as a child and the bond only grew stronger over the period of time. The only son, amongst 5 children, he was pampered, spoilt rotten. The mother grew over-fond of him, after her husband passed away. A few years later, he got married. His wife found this affection unusual. Often she would ask him, why he still wanted the first bite of his dinner to be fed by his mother? Initially, she found it awkward but decided not to intervene as both her husband and his mother would feel offended. The situation got out of control when the mother passed away and a full-grown adult felt helpless as an infant.

For weeks, yes for weeks he didn’t step out of his mother’s room. He has no social circle to interact with. Till date, he only eats “Khichdi” every single day since last 10years now. For “khichdi (porridge made with rice &lentils)” was his mother’s favourite food!

Can you help identify the point where things could have been corrected?

Writer’s Plea:

The aim of this series is to create awareness around mental health and wellness. Any clinical mental well-being related disorders need psychiatric treatment and empathetic support from the community.

My Gratitude Journal 🙏

My Gratitude Journal 🙏

It feels like yesterday!

After completing my research work, I was mulling over the idea of picking up my career again. When a friend (Ms Pooja Maheshwari Salwan) sent an invite to attend a workshop by Ms Brinda Narayanan, who had recently published her second book (The Trespasser, 2019) for encouraging people to explore the writer within.  Sometimes it takes just one moment, that one powerful moment to realise your hidden potential and passion.

I had begun to write poetry when I was 17…and while growing up, had totally forgotten about it.  Until that day! When I explored my true self while scribbling thoughts randomly and decided to experience the pleasure of writing all over again.
It was 15th June 2019, when I posted my first blog- The seven-years’ itch! and since that day there was no looking back. Today, I am 49 articles old and this is my 50th!

When I first started to write, there was a great deal of excitement and also initial anxiety, whether what I write will it resonate with others? Will it fetch me, readers?

I took writing more like a therapy to release the pent-up emotions of a workaholic who had become a full-time mother and a homemaker. (Don’t mistake me, I thoroughly enjoy this role but I don’t mind accepting that it gets overwhelming from time to time.)😊

And then one day, while reading my thesis (Emotional Intelligence and Impact on Performance in Banking Sector in Delhi-NCR & Rajasthan) I remembered the advice given by my Research Guide (Dr Harsh Purohit). I decided to take my research to the next level. My first Book (Aiming to publish it next year, 2021) !!

During my research days, I had a chance to meet over 400 BFSI professionals, both men and women and was fortunate that some of them shared their success stories with me. I started to write those inspirational stories (of course maintaining the confidentiality), as I already had their permission to use the information for my research and so came the stories under #MeetTheMomSeries, which got immense of love on WordPress. And then a friend (Ms SwatiSharma) another fellow blogger, suggested Momspresso!

While I was busy penning down the stories #MyBodyIsNoneOfYOurBusiness (a post about a woman, a mother’s story about fighting with the taboo, body shaming and finding her way to happiness) became my first featured post on Momspresso.

And then #TheRapeAbuseAndMolestationSeries took the readers by storm. That made me realise that there are issues, be it physical or mental abuse that needs to be brought to the table. It needs to be put in the correct perspective, without blaming any particular gender or class or community. Why because be it mental well-being or abusive behaviour, it has been treated as a taboo in our society, due to little or not enough awareness.

While the readers showered their love, some sought for help, support and counselling too. That gave me the courage and also a kind of reassurance that I have finally found the purpose of my life. Ever since I was a child, I had this belief that each life has a purpose and the journey of life is about discovering that purpose. And like each seed and each flower, every body’s time to bloom varies and hence can’t be, rather shouldn’t be compared.

Hence, I continued to write and with time mustered the courage to explore more platforms and experiment with my writing. Along came, #TheMindsJournal, #YourQuotes, #MompreneurCircle, #Penmancy, #WomensWeb, #AsianLiterarySociety and some recognitions which continue to motivate me.

While I pursue, my journey and my life’s goal to write and share stories about the beautiful people who touched my life with their positive energies, I am filled with deep, eternal gratitude.

I have a long list of people who influenced, encouraged and supported me ever since I was a child, to this moment, when I have two of my own. This is my attempt as a ‘Gratitude Journal’ to say thank you to each one of you for playing a special role in developing me, as I am.

Thank you, Shavet Jain for providing me with the platform and celebrating my work as one amongst the # TheBestBlogger2019 #TheBloggerOfTheWeek on Momspresso and giving me a couple of hours window to bring some change in the lives of people that I connect with.

Thank you, Lalita Goyal for helping me with my first attempt of writing a series of articles in Hindi – “पारिजात के फूल” which I dedicated to my mother on Mom’s Day.

Thank you, #YourQuotes for creating the opportunity to self-publish two of my quote books.

Thank you, Navixha Bagga Kapur, for making me feel like a celebrity and inviting me on your FB page to speak my mind.

Thank you, Lokesh Bhagat ( for featuring my thoughts on your platform to reach to the students and their parents, where we can actually make a difference.

Thank you, Dr K B Rath, Dr Ranju Mehta, Mr Hemant Gupta and Sandeep Kumar for being my mentors and my guiding lights.

Thank you Vikram Dhar & Dr Anju Chawla for showing the way towards transformation using the concepts of #NeuroLinguisticPrograming & #EmotionalIntelligence.

Thank you, Meenakshi Dixit for instilling the values and confidence in me. You are my biggest inspiration. Deepali Sharma, Rupali Sarin, Priya Jodhawat, Seema Sinha  & Anu Mathew for your unconditional support.

Thank you, my dear parents, for deciding to have me as part of their big happy family. They not just named me ‘Lucky’ but also made me feel like one.

Thank you, Nishant Saxena for those endless supplies of tea and coffee when I needed to be drugged. Also, to my little girls, who ensure that I become a better person, each day.

And the biggest thanks to all of you, for sparing time to read my work. Please continue to provide your feedback.

Keep your love coming, keep shining !

#NeuroLinguisticPrograming # #EmotionalIntelligence#gratitude, #mentalwellbeing, #mentalhealth, #blogger, #writer, #thankyou, #meetthemomseries, #MyBodyIsNoneOfYOurBusiness, #TheRapeAbuseAndMolestationSeries, #TheMindsJournal, #YourQuotes, #MompreneurCircle, #Penmancy, #WomensWeb, #AsianLiterarySociety, #TheBloggerOfTheWeek,

June, A month dedicated to Fathers and Men !

June is the month when we celebrate fathers day. But before we celebrate their fatherhood, it’s time to celebrate Men as Human Being too. So I thought of giving a tribute to all the men in my life – my dad, my brother, all guy friends (not every boy who is a friend is a boyfriend, yeah?), well also to my boyfriends 🙂 by trying to get into their shoes and see the world with their pair of eyes. 

Factoid : Well, I HAD to !!

Rather, I was challenged to look at the world from a different perspective, when one of my readers observed how most of my stories & write-ups are either about Motherhood or about kids.

Why There Is No Reference To WHAT GUYS THINK ABOUT PARENTING, LIFE, SPOUSE, CAREER, so on & so forth…….phew !!!

He did give me a long list. And, as much as I hate to accept but I agree he had a point !!

And so, I decided to change HATS !! Past few weeks, I have spent some time thinking and behaving like how my partner does, interacted with my close guy friends, took their viewpoint, kind of drilled them. I confess the transition of looking at the world through a guy’s eyes wasn’t an easy one. Every time, the feminist in me would come up with so many counter questions that instead of developing an insight it would give me a migraine😣😣.It was important to understand LIFE as they see it !!! This should be called- Evolution of Thoughts or Perspective !!So, to channelize my thoughts, I decided to play Mythbuster and took the top 5 myths that exist around guys!!Myth – (short form of MyThoughts) v/s Reality (from the horse’s mouth🙂)

Myth #1. Guys are TOUGH !! And so DESERVE NO MERCY !!

Reality – We are made different, BOTH anatomically and physiologically. As a result, there are psychological differences too. Naturally, each one of us has different priorities, we aim for different things in life but the ultimate objective is to seek for happiness, obviously thru different means and hence, the CONFLICT.

Morale of the story- Respect Individual Differences 😊😊

Myth #2. He has more windows, opportunities to rant/ vent and friends too. Obviously, he is less stressed out. And so DESERVES NO MERCY !!

Reality – While catching up over a fag, drinks or a game of pool or golf is much preferred over a day spent in shopping. Ease of expressions doesn’t come very handy here. Soda bubbles are required for those bottled up emotions. To confine, sharing your mind space is a must.

Morale of the story- MeTime is essential for all😎😎!!

Myth #3. Won’t understand my child as I do, after all, I was the one who carried my baby for 9 months, not him!!! And so when he makes a mistake while handling the baby, he DESERVES NO MERCY !!

Reality – There is always a first time, one needs to get involved to be able to take responsibilities. A lot depends on the parenting role models and our value systems that we have been given during the early years of life.Morale of the story – Don’t be a control freak, learn to relax 🤗🤗!!

Myth #4. Sex/ physical intimacy/ experience is all that matters to him, he is ZERO at emotions. And so DESERVES NO MERCY !!Reality- Well -well !!! Isn’t that one of the prime reason after LOVE, why we get into a relationship called- MARRIAGE? It can’t be put on a back seat. While it starts with physical attraction for both, over a period of time our priorities may change. Also, taking each other for granted is a commonly made DEADLY mistake.Morale of the story – Keep the flame burning 😉😉 !!Myth #5. His only responsibility is to bring money home, and if he fails in doing so DESERVES NO MERCY !!Reality – Even if the decision is mutual that you run the house and he manages finance, not every day is the same, even in the kitchen or with kids. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes.Morale of the story – Forgive & Forget🙂🙂 !!As a matter of fact, how our guys behave depends on how we as a society have conditioned them, their behaviour patterns. So if we want to see the change, in the way our men treat us, we all will have to make an effort, parents, families, schools, offices and the community collectively.Of late, the talks have begun on how to raise boys so that they are able to cope up with much more liberated, independent and empowered women ever, in the times to come. It’s a tough task !!While we got busy with “बेटी बचाओ, बेटी पढ़ाओ ” ( save the girl child!!) unintentionally we have ignored our boys. They have been growing in the wild as wild berries/ flowers/ weeds subject to the amount of care they got from their significant others. The increase in crime rates is a clear reflection that our guys need special attention & care.Moving forward to the approach, I suggest we need to make use of both corrective and preventive measures. But most importantly we need to instil the concept of Self-Care amongst our men. Let’s break those stereotypes, drop those toxic mindsets !!While each one of us, irrespective of what gender, experience emotional turmoils at every phase in our lives, all of us need that emotional support from our significant others. The substance abuse be it alcohol or drugs, physical abuse such as molestation, domestic violence & rape and even suicides are results of these suppressed emotions.Today, let’s take one step closer towards a friend, a son, a brother, father or a lover, let’s take time to tell them that they matter to us, their opinion & voice matter to us, we value every sacrifice that they make for us. Now & always, you will be loved!

Three Cheers To The Men, We Love !!
#men, #loveyourguy, #selfcare

Summer Nights, Stargazing & Radio: Nostalgia Guaranteed!

The other night, I had taken my kids to the terrace for “Stargazing Activity” as a part of their Vacation Assignment Schedule. While they were busy spotting the constellations, I closed my eyes. Deja vu !! 

Nostalgia hit me, really hard. My mind took me back to my childhood memory lane, I could see my life in flashes! The memory is still so vivid that it began to tantalize all my senses.

A random hot summer day, turning cooler, as the Sun went off duty. Followed by a soothing breeze, gently caressing the ruffled minds and hair. The air was filled with night jasmine’s fragrance. It used to be so quiet that one could hear the train’s horn as it passes by the nearest railway tracks, loudspeakers being played in the mosque close by and the street dogs barking, intermittently. 

After dinner, we would make our “makeshift beds” on the terrace. This used to be my favourite part of the day. Everybody was assigned a task. And like a well-coordinated team at the assembly line, we used to execute the task flawlessly, every single time.

My mother would bring a clay pot (with a “lion face” on its spout), was covered with a damp muslin cloth, (mostly my mother’s old cotton saree) to keep the water naturally cold, with a glass to cover it’s top.

My elder siblings would help my father to carry and arrange the mattresses, bedsheets and pillows and I, being the youngest was assigned with the most important job. 

To carry my Dad’s Radio!!

Every night (Mon-Sat) sharp at 8:00 pm, Vividh Bharati would play a 15 minutes radio program pertaining short stories, anecdotes, snippets, skits, plays or Natak, Jhalaki, vyang in Hindi, called “हवा महल“/ HawaMahal. This was the earliest and the most pleasant memory that I have from my childhood days.

“Look!!  A shooting star! And there you can actually spot Orion!”, squealed my daughter and pulled my hand and eventually also my mind back in that day and time. Time machines aren’t for real, says who? 😊

Upon reflection, I believe that listening to those stories at such an early age, laid the foundation of myself becoming a writer. Visualizing the characters, identifying with their emotions, being able to associate with the changing emotions with the change of music and the texture of voice to understand the feelings made my imagination vivid and intense. Unconsciously, I was practising mindfulness, being there…living in that moment.

I won’t hesitate to give this experience full credit of evolving a storyteller in me, that I am today. 

PS: The love for the instrument is such that I still possess one, even today.